I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
