I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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