Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
