windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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