I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Alive.
So much puke
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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