Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
