North Korea, Best Korea!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
