I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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