That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
