i barfeds in our rink
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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