your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
