They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
