I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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