dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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