He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
