Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
