I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize