I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I am available for nakedness
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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