Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
