he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
