i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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