all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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