Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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