The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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