i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
