Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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