put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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