I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
