she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
