i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
