Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
