fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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