I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
