K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
