Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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