The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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