he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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