Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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