Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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