How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
