is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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