She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Are we still banned from the library?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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