Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
