just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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