Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize