Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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