yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
