The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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