he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
