toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
