Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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