I think i peed on brittanys purse
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
