when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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