dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
