There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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