I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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