whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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