like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
