I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
