Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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